Guess what? Today we graduated from 2 days of nasal breathing and progressed to the upper lip. Our task was to be aware of the sensations we felt in the area under the nostrils and above the upper lip. This could be anything: hot, cold, perspiration, tingling, vibrating, pulsating and throbbing. Mine were the final four, and in that order. First I was aware of a tingling sensation, followed by vibrating and proceeding to pulsating and throbbing. Yes, we did this all day.
Mr Goenka explained, as I was well aware, that our bodies are not actually solid. We are made up of sub-atomic particles. I named them "sub-atomies" inspired by my Granddaughters' name for cucumber "cucumbies." Imagine, this is smaller than an atom. Picture the electron ever circling around the proton and neutron, in constant motion. Nothing is solid. All is in constant motion. What appears to be is really not. Just as it seems that the sun moves around the earth and the earth is flat, we know that not to be true. So it is with our bodies. They are not solid and are in a state of constant change. We were to focus on that small area of our bodies until we became aware of a sensation, a connection with our sub-atomic particles. I have always been very aware of my body. Too aware. Remember the Princess and the Pea? That's me! I can feel a grain of sand in my shoe, a wrinkle in my sock, a tag on the back of my blouse. This is also why I am hyper sensative to cold. Could be perhaps because I have mostly lived in warm or tropical climates, but you get the point. So I was very good at this. I got so good that I could actually make my upper lip "go surfing." Hard to imagine. Guess you had to be there. But I was and I did. So, I thought to myself, if I have trouble falling asleep tonight I guess I'll just make my upper lip go surfing. Then I laughed to myself. Silently of course. Not to compete with the coughing woman.
Each meditation began and ended with a tape of Mr Goenka chanting. This was for several purposes, to put us in the meditation mood and for the vibrational effect. In actuality, it often sounded like long, sustained, deep belching and was starting to get annoying. Except at the end because when you heard it you knew that session was over. Thank God. Then it was a welcome sound.
On this day, I mentioned to the teacher, (Yes we were allowed to talk to our teacher at certain times.) that I would like to try going without the chair and sitting cross legged. Our dear assistant, Atiah, set me up with a cushion and a back support. They called it a jack. After the first session on the floor, I could barely walk. That was the end of that. Back to the chair.
During the brief times we were free, I walked as much as possible. There was a sign That said "Women's Walking Trail" which pointed to a sort of grassy area. Erika and I checked it out on our arrival day and said to each other, (we were still allowed to talk at that point) "That's not much of a trail." So on this day I was walking on the supposed "trail" when Atiah whispered to me "You are outside of the boundaries." ( I was in trouble a lot.) I said "No, I'm walking on the trail" She then took me over to a path which led to a lovely trail through the forest. Damn, I lost 3 days of walking on this trail? So on our late afternoon break, I took a precious walk in the forest. No sooner had I done this when I heard; BANG....BANG,BANG! Gun shots. Deer hunting season. No wonder they want us to remain within the boundaries. Who want to go to a meditative retreat and be mistaken for a deer? Well, not me. So I cut my walk short and walked around elsewhere.
That night, I fell asleep to the sound of my upper lip surfing.
No comments:
Post a Comment